Sunday, April 28, 2013

Is this typical of how lesbians feel? - Empty Closets

I'm still in the process of figuring out my orientation, and I was wondering if this is typical to feel this way if you're a lesbian.

When I think about having sex with a guy, the whole idea of it seems foreign and actually strange.

When I think about intimacy/basically being naked with a girl, it seems like ok, this is safe. It's familiar. And therefore doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. [this is hypothetical, I have never been physically intimate with a girl in any way] I can't tell if I feel this way because a girl's body is like mine and that is familiar, or if it's because SHE IS A GIRL.

The idea of sex with a guy just seems...weird.

Is this typical of how lesbians feel about sex w/ the opposite gender vs. the same gender?

Also, I am very thin, and part of what spurred my questioning is that I realized when I would pick out what I was wearing, I would worry that T-shirts instead of frilly stuff would make me look like a lesbian because I am thin to the point of having no shape. I was literally worried I looked lesbian. I would put something on and look in the mirror and think "No..this won't work. I look lesbian." I realized after a few months of worrying about that pretty often that straight people probably don't worry they look lesbian, unless they ARE lesbian. Right? Has anyone else done this?

I also have been offended in the past when close guy friends have flirted with me. It's like, no...you're supposed to be my friend. I don't know if it's because it's in the friend territory already, or if I just don't feel comfortable with guys seeing me that way. Except for one guy ever, guys feeling that way about me makes me feel uneasy.

Lastly, I've only had one boyfriend and it lasted a very short period of time (2 weeks). I got in a relationship because I wanted to have a boyfriend. Not because I wanted to be close with him but because I felt like by having a boyfriend I was finally being grownup and mature. Like having a boyfriend was biting the bullet and being an adult, and that's what adults do, they have boyfriends. I was just 17 at the time, but you know what I mean. Is this typical of how lesbians have felt about relationships with guys in the past? The whole feeling like getting a boyfriend is something you do to be mature, not something you're diving into with glee?

Basically, the idea of being in a relationship with a girl seems safe, and the idea of being in a relationship with a guy seems...foreign. Is this also typical of how lesbians feel?

Feel free to dissect this post, answer only certain sections which apply if any, etc. It will help me a lot to hear from other people who have felt similarly.

Source: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-orientation-gender-identity-support/92403-typical-how-lesbians-feel.html

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